I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
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