Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
