she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
