How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
