last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
