you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
