Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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