I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
