I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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