She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
