in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
