I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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