id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
