The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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