the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize