do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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