If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
