that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. đ
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so Iâd say itâs safe to say it was a good weekend
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I should have known it wouldnât work. Someone saved in her phone as âSubway Sexâ called the week before the wedding
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