I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
