i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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