I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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