She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
