found the other keg... it's in the tree
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
