I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
