Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
this hospital has no fireball
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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