I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
