dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
