don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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