is your mom at the bar?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
