I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
