Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my sisters under your porch take her home
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
cat food counts as protein by the way
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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