So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I will be naked everywhere
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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