her vagine was all disorganized.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
