so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
