Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just want to make out with him forever
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
