Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
