and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
