Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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