So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize