I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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