Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
