I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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