We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
