You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
