I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
