nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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