You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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