Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
