Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
