my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
