at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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