The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
