I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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