if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
