How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
