Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
