Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
