i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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