we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize