Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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