Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
