BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
