There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
