I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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