Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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