Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
