dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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