We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
