If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
