Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
