when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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