I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
