she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize