You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
