he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize