On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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