So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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