Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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