i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
